i love cranberry juice and hate skeptics.

i have been living in taiwan for over 14 weeks, and my life has changed so much in that short time.

my entire life is changed forever! i began my career as an english teacher here in taiwan, and that will be with me forever. every single day i find it harder and harder to convince myself that i will have to leave after one year. and every single day i find it harder and harder to remind myself that i am not taiwanese and that i haven't been here forever, though some things are beginning to feel so natural that its getting hard to remember what my life was like pre-taiwan.

i was talking to a co-worker tonight about what its like to be an expatriate in general, especially in a place where you can't speak the language well (um, or at all...) sometimes i feel like i am not a part of america. i don't live there, don't keep up with the news as well as i should, and don't keep up with the pop culture by choice. i feel so isolated from the culture. i only have 2 american friends here in taiwan. i think i can even count the number of american friends i have on one hand anyway (ok, slight exaggeration but you get the picture). its also hard to feel fully a part of the taiwanese culture though. even though i watch the news and the tv shows and listen to the music and try to speak the language and am constantly surrounded by and interacting with taiwanese people...at the end of the day, i can't fully participate in or understand the culture fully because of the language barrier. i am trying harder than i have ever tried anything, and hopefully soon my brain will be able to absorb all things taiwanese. immediately and with no effort ^^

also, i can't help but still be kind of bitter at the people who thought that i could never handle this. i am well aware that what i did in coming to taiwan was nuts, probably not as well planned or thought out as it should have been, and risky. i also knew that i was smart enough and strong enough to handle it, thankyouverymuch. i am doing perfectly fine here...in fact, i am doing well! yes, i know how to use chopsticks, i know how to navigate the subway, i can buy my own train ticket and end up at my destination unharmed, and for heaven's sake, no i don't need you to order my dinner for me because i am perfectly capable of functioning as a human being BY MYSELF! just because i'm in a foreign country doesn't mean i'm stupid! just because my chinese is bad doesn't mean that i'm stupid! bahhhh. anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyway.

i love cranberry juice. thank you, taiwan, for introducing me to the wonders.