a very merry christmas (and hopefully a happy new year!)

what a merry christmas it was :)

i spent a week in the south of taiwan with some taiwanese friends that studied at uncg. first, i went to kaohsiung to see my friend annie. we had such a good time! after i got there, we went to ken ting, which is a beach town in the very south of the island. the weather was like summer, the food was amazing, and the scenery was GORGEOUS. even we went to all the cape no. 7 (a really famous taiwanese movie of which fan yi chen is the star) places of filming! DREAM COME TRUE even though i didn't find fan yi chen. we hung out in kaoshuing for the rest of the time. i learned to drive a scooter (even though i almost crashed a wall and a temple), went to loads of really traditional taiwanese dinners, ate sashimi for the first time, and caught up with old friends and made new ones. GREAT HOLIDAYS. it was really weird not to be home with my family at christmas, really not to celebrate at all...it was weird for the weather to be so hot, no christmas decorations anywhere...but the hospitality of the taiwanese was enough to make up for it. i had such a good time, and it will be a christmas i will never ever forget. pictures to follow ;)

lately i have been feeling tremendous guilt about my poor chinese. i almost want to cry when people speak english to me...i feel so guilty, coming into another country and having people speak english to me. i am trying to learn chinese really hard, and i practice whenever i can...but its only been 5 1/2 months and my chinese is still so poor...

and man, its been 5 1/2 months. 2009 is almost over! where has it goneeeeeeeee?! it has been quite a year: full of wonder and terror and fun and hard times and life changing experiences and a million laughs and tears and it has been one of the best years of my life. i have completed student teaching, graduated from uni, moved to another country, started my first big girl job and gotten my first big girl paycheck (and started getting my first big girl bills), started learning a new language, SAW FAN YI CHEN in concert :), learned to spend holidays alone, survived the hottest weather EVER, and put my feet in the pacific ocean. how can 2010 be any better?! i can only hope.

i will be stalking fan yi chen on new years eve...hopefully this time i can get a picture so you can all meet the love of my life. yay.



also, the best moment of the whole time i've been in taiwan happened to me today. one of my most wild and crazy kindergarteners who i can never get to sit down or speak english came up to me today, gave me a big hug and said, in the most clear english i've heard, "katie teacher, i missed you." i almost cried. even though this kind of teaching that i do in taiwan is quite different than the kind i was prepared for in university, the reasons i do it are still fundamentally the same.

范逸臣, 我super愛你!!!

oh my life...i love taiwan.

for those of you who don't know my latest obsession, its a taiwanese singer/actor/mega-talent named...FAN YI CHEN!!! ahhh i love him, and thanks to my skillful stalking, managed to get hold of some tickets to go to his show last night...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DREAM COME TRUE.

it was the best show i've ever been to IN MY LIFE. even though i could only understand about 30% of what was going on, who cares?! I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF FAN YI CHEN and it was amazing. he sang all my favorite songs and showed clips from when he was filming his movie and even after the show, kristen and i GOT TO TAKE PHOTOS WITH SOME OF HIS BAND! ahhh best night ever. unbelievable. dream come true. i love taiwan, and i love love love fan yi chen. ahh.

while we were in the middle of the concert, there was a MASSIVE earthquake. it was quite scary actually. i feel tremors everyday, but this was a proper quake. someone told me it was a 6. something on the scale. i was in taipei, but i'm not sure where the epicenter was. scary (but kind of cool :)

i'm off to the south of taiwan on monday for a week of holiday and visiting friends and travelling, so merry merry christmas to everyone, i love you all and wish i could be with you...but for now, i will enjoy a warm christmas on my happy little island and think of you all in your cold, cold weather ;)

today a kid accidentally stabbed me in the hand with his pencil, and when he saw the blood come, he apologised: "TEACHER! i'm hungry!"

i'm not doing a good enough job. ha.

there are so many millions of thoughts and so many different languages swirling through my head at breakneck speeds at any given time on any given day that sometimes, i really wish my brain came with an "off" button.

for example, this week, i got an american magazine in the mail (thanks betty lockridge!!). i opened it and was reading...and started realising that i have no idea about what's going on in america. the fashion looked weird to me, all the ads for new things seemed so strange, and i didn't recognise any of the models. i felt i was reading about a foreign country. of course i can't read taiwanese magazines, and i don't know any of their models either...its so weird not to fully belong to either place. this thought always worries me. and lately, i have been feeling a little bit vagabond-ish. like, i am always going from place to place, and the thought of ever being permanent anywhere really scares me. is always living in a state of "transitory" so bad, and can a person ever really be happy that way? i don't know. i can't stop wondering the answer. i can't stop asking myself the reason for coming to taiwan was to escape something, to leave something behind...or if it was to find something. i was talking to my friend about this, and about how my life can never really feel complete again...i have best friends scattered from here to kingdom come, and i have had life in three countries, as well as in greensboro and shelby. there will always be a part of me that is somewhere else. i will always be missing someone, or some place. my head spins thinking of this. it's spinning now just typing about it. i often wonder what will ever end up happening to me.

last week, i met rika and tadao in taipei! they came allllllllllllll the way from japan! i can't even explain how good it was. i will never ever in my life forget riding the motorcycle with jeremy to their hotel and seeing rika standing on the sidewalk. its such a good feeling to have the kind of friend to whom you can say "i will see you again someday, be it in your country, or my country, or taiwan, or who knows where" and actually mean it. i almost killed myself leaping off the motorcycle to go to her and tadao :) then we stood in the middle of downtown, shouting and screaming and crying for ages while a crowd collected to watch the foreigners reunite. i will never in my life forget that moment. we had such a good time together, talking about old memories, making new ones, and just all being together. i still can't believe it happened and even though it was so short and felt like a dream, it was so nice to see them again.

christmas in kaoshiung in t-8 days! JIA-YOOOO!

THE ELECTIONS ARE OVERRRRRRRR ptl!!!! last friday night on my way home from work, i got a random craving for pizza. so on my way to the pizza place, i pass through downtown which is all blocked off...and people in hats are EVERYWHERE. so i got my pizza and took it into the square to see what was going on. political rally for the elections, of course. i felt like such a moron standing there in the middle of all those taiwanese who were singing patriotic songs and waving their taiwan flags...and there i was, american as ever, with my pizza. i even went to watch eric and ally vote on saturday! just like in america, only in chinese of course.

its so odd to walk outside in december and...not wear a jacket because it still feels like summer. its really freaking me out.

IT'S DECEMBER!
the month of dreams! is finally heeeeeeeeeeere!


for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to write. i do everyday, but mostly stuff just for myself that i would be totally embarrassed if anyone ever read. but, i figure as entertaining and random as my life has been thus far, i should turn all my journals and short stories into a novel. it's my dream to see one of my own books on a shelf in barnes and noble one day...and if my life keeps going in the way it is, i will certianly have the fodder for one heck of a memoir ;)

things i am thankful for (in list form of course, bc i am still lazy)

seeing as how it is after midnight here, i can proudly say that i have officially spent my first holiday ALONE. i mean completely alone, devoid of any english speakers or americans. it was horribly sad. its thanksgiving, for heaven's sake, and i ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and my tea didn't have one DROP of sugar, much less a half a pound. no turkey, no parade, no chill in the air, no family, no "happy thanksgiving" text messages...but, it did give me a lot of time to sit in my quiet apartment and think about the long long list of things i have to be thankful for.

1. i am thankful for my family. they know i am crazy, but they loved and trusted me enough to let me haul off to england only a day past 20 years old, and to pack up and haul off to taiwan the second after i graduated uni. i am so so so greatful for a family that loves and supports me so much. i miss them all so much on this holiday! i am thankful for my dad's health.

2. i am thankful for my friends. everyday i think of them, and wonder where they are, what the weather is like in their countries, and i dream of the day that we can be together again.

3. i am thankful for all my good memories. i can be at the absolute BOTTOM, ready to swim home, and look back on the last almost 23 years at basically any random time...a friday night half time show, 4th of july trip with my family, or random i-house snowflake making in the stairwell...all the good times i have crammed into my life! i can look back to these memories and smile.

4. corny, but i am thankful for skype and how it allows me to do the impossible and keep up with my family and friends!

5. i am thankful for my job. i am thankful that i was given the opportunity to come to taiwan and learn more about the world and the people in it, mostly myself. i am thankful that i can go everyday and make money doing something i love (98% of the time), because i know it was hard for so many people in my profession to find and keep teaching jobs lately. i am thankful that the thought of going to work everyday is (usually) exciting, and that my kids keep me smiling. i am thankful that more often than not, i am the student, and not the teacher, in many ways.

6. i am thankful that rika and tadao will be in taiwan in 11 days! i can't even begin to express how good it will be to see them again.

7. i am thankful that my most-used chinese phrase is no longer "我聽不懂". (i don't understand).

8. i am beyond thankful for my friends here in taiwan. i can't imagine being completely alone and having no one: no one to travel with, or learn the dance to "sorry sorry," or act out our orders in restaurants.

9. i am thankful that, in the land of live octopus and fish heads, i haven't starved to death yet.

10. even though it sounds really stupid, i am thankful that people find the time to write me a card, tape my chinese address to it, and that it can come alllllllllllll the way across the world to my little house. that means so much. sometimes, i feel like the rest of the world forgot me, and then i go down to my mailbox and see a letter, and i remember that real friends and family never forget :)

11. i am thankful for my church family back home that has always kept my mailbox and e-mail inbox full! i am thankful for all their prayers.

12. most of all, i am so thankful to have been given this opportunity and for everything to have worked out, and i'm glad to have made it 4 1/2 months! in some ways, it seems like i just stepped off the plane, and in some ways, i feel like i have been here 400 years. still have a long way to go, but i am excited to see what the next 8 months have in store for me!

i am so thankful.

a list, because i am lazy.

1. i can't mention the letter "h" without a chorus of taiwanese children chanting "h1n1, h1n1." that's starting to get really annoying. tomorrow, they will all go have their vaccinations, and were oddly excited by this today.

2. today i met a hawaiian who, upon learning where i was from, asked me why i didn't have a southern accent. i almost didn't have a reaction to that. i still have one! bah!

3. my second sister, abby, got her liscense today. what?!?!?! how is she even that old? does that make me old?

4. taiwan's weather in summer is miserable and unbearable and at times made me want to jump into the arctic sea, but today was the most perfect weather i have ever seen anywhere at any time of year in my life.

5. i can't believe rika and tadao will be here in 2 weeks! yaaaaaaaaaaaaay yay yay to infinity.

6. i really miss winter-y things like getting ready for christmas, and wearing coats and scarves, and thanksgiving, and good food, and going home for school breaks, etc etc. i especially miss the smell of winter and fall (as opposed to here, the wonderfully wintery smell of open sewer).

7. sometimes, i have to stop and think for like 5 minutes of the correct english verb conjugation or vocabulary word. and sometimes, even after 5 minutes...i can't.

8. i just paid 6$us for a jar of jelly.

9. sunday night, i sat on the bench in the park across from my house for almost 2 hours and looked at the stars between all the skyscrapers in my city. i was shocked that i could see them because #1 it had poured rain all day and #2 i was in the middle of a city, but it was one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen.

10. there is a mosquito in my apartment that has bitten me, at last count, 26 times, and i've already broken my webcam, one cup, and my hairbrush trying to kill that stupid thing.

it's been two weeks since i have posted anything. in those last 2 weeks, i have gotten so much bad news from home that honestly, i haven't wanted to write anything or speak to anyone or see anything or listen to any chinese or english or actually get out of my bed and turn on the lights.

my dad is doing fine now, thankfully. thanks everyone for being there for me so much during that, and for all your prayers. my blood family will be fine.

my i-family, however...not so much. i know the community of the i-house is impossible to explain to people who never took part in it or lived there, so i won't attempt. those people were the next thing to my real family that i have ever had, and even those i wasn't so close to still felt like family and i still loved them very much. its hard when tragedy hits your family, and its hard to deal with death at any age for anyone. one never expects someone kind and beautiful or wild and full of life to pass away so young...or at all, really. i often wish i was home in the i-house, but now, more than ever, i wish to god that i was in greensboro, in the lobby of the i-house, hugging my friends and praying for everything to turn out alright. even though we aren't physically together, it is such a comfort to know that there are so many people all over the world who are praying for everyone and their families, and that we don't have to be in the same room (or even on the same continent) to be together. thank god for the i-house. we are so lucky to have each other, and to help each other be strong and get through something like this. though no one's life can ever be the same now, we were all lucky enough to get to experience it for a little while.

life is constantly hanging in a balance, and it is indeed scary to think that it can be taken from us so quickly, without warning, unfairly, and quite by accident. but this uncertainty has always been one of the biggest motivators for me personally to live; i'm sure they felt the same. if i can be comforted by anything, its knowing that the best of friends were together, in their home country, on a little holiday. there is never anything fair about death...not why it happens or how it happens or who it happens with...and there is nothing that can ever make it easier to deal with. but, in memory, they will always be young and happy. i am still struggling to understand this, or to justify it. i know that is impossible and we aren't meant to know some things, but that has been one of the hardest parts. it's also hard to deal with a tragedy hitting a family that is scattered to the four corners of the world. but, the world seems a little smaller now, knowing that we are all together in this.

rip celina and rodrigo- many people love you and many people will always miss you. you will always be young, happy, and beautiful in everyone's hearts forever.

today i had to eat spaghetti with chopsticks because i realised i don't own a fork.

desiderata

"desiderata," in latin, means "things that are desired."

i first discovered this poem in the bathroom of the high school i student taught at. i think that time in my life was the most trying of my life, in some ways more trying than moving to taiwan. i often wonder who the person was who hung it in that bathroom, and if they knew how many times i went in there sobbing so that i could sob in peace, only to read its words again and come out smiling.




Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

-Max Ehrmann

fish out of water...in both the most literal and metaphorical senses

my daily adventures began super early this morning as ally and i headed off to the jhubei city morning market. i was under the (mistaken) impression that this would be like the night market, only during the day. the weather was gorgeous today: it felt like north carolina in the beginning of september. so sunny, warm but not hot...perfect day for a morning market! there were live fish everywhere, live shrimp jumping all over the place, many delicious (and not so delicious) foods to sample, pig intestines and hearts strung up on every rafter, and many other things that you can only find in a taiwanese morning market. i have to admit, seeing live fish flopping around and eating chicken feet at 9 am aren't as unsettling as they used to be. i don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

anyway, as par for the course when i head through a group of taiwanese, everyone was staring at me and randomly saying that i had very white skin and "ni hen piao lian": "you are very beautiful." i felt soooo incredibly foreign there, in my hoodie and jeans, with my green eyes, white skin and brown hair. i felt almost obsence looking. i feel like this often: it is very strange to look so different than everyone around you, and to often be the only white person in sight. it is harder than it seems to live in a society where everyone looks a certain way and you don't, to catch sight of yourself in a mirror and be startled, thinking "oh, i forgot i'm not asian!" everything from my eye color, to my shoes, to the way i carry my purse is so different than everyone around me. no matter how much i try to blend in i can't, and no matter how much i wish people would stop staring at me and just comment on my foreignness or something, they won't. at first it was unsettling, then it was flattering, but now it is...it makes me feel bad, i don't know. i am so...different.

today, we had two earthquakes. granted they were small, but i was still freaking out. my students didn't even bat an eyelash! i almost screamed during the first one, but i didn't want to look a fool so i didn't. i tried to sit calmly. when the second one came though, i let out a tiny yelp :)

i can't believe i left the states four months ago.

title

生日快樂, 范逸臣...我愛你!!!

it's amazing how many injuries one sustains when teaching small children. so far in the past two weeks, i have had my foot stepped on so badly that it seriously hurt to walk, i have had to get myself a bandaid at work at least 3 times, i have been hit in the head with a wayward eraser, and once...i had my entire arm closed in the door. granted all these injuries were accidental, but those kids are rough. i'm going to start wearing full body armour and kevlar to work just to be on the safe side.

speaking of work, there are many funny stories to tell. yesterday, in an effort to implement some crowd control, i decided to haul my class outside for some hardcore game-playing time. our classroom has no windows, and 2hrs is quite a long time for them to sit...so, all 11 of us haul out of the school to the park across the street. we all held hands in a huge line and somehow made it across the street. *i must add that jhubei is the windiest city ON THE EARTH and some of them were about to blow away. even my poor ta was freezing to death, and i kept asking if they wanted to go inside, but they were so happy out there that i think they sucked up being "cold" and played anyway.* so there we were, this very ominous group of taiwanese children screaming at each other in english in the middle of this park, in 230498203948 mile an hour winds and i couldn't stop laughing, it was just so much fun! we played a version of red rover where instead of saying "red rover red rover send xxx right over," they had to ask a question in english and the other kid had to answer. needless to say that the boys went nuts over this game, and it was quite entertaining, esp when they kept calling for me and tammy, my ta, to come over! seriously, how much better can this job be. one of my kids gave me this really hilarious envelope that she had made. the front was drawn a picture of me and "KATIE KATIE KATIE LOOK." so i opened it, and inside was a picture of me that said "KATIE KATIE KATIE LOOK." hahaha. they crack me up.

my school is in the tallest building in jhubei city, so yesterday ally and me and some of the kids went to the top to look out at the city! IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. i can't wait to go up there again with my camera :) i like this city alot.

last tuesday, we had a halloween party at work, which was sooooooo~ funny. i was a ladybug :) all the kids came to school early and i told ghost stories and carved a pumpkin, we played "pin-the-nose-on-the-witch," and trick-or-treated. even some of the kids were dressed up!

a couple wknds ago, my friends mary and kristen came to hsinchu to visit me! we had nice weekend of good old fashioned american fun. it was so nice to speak fast, slang english without having to stop and explain after every other sentence, and to have them understand my jokes, and for me to 100% understand what they were saying to me without having to fill in the blanks :) saturday night we went to this really cool restaurant (i guess its name in english is something like "the big teapot"). anyway, i had never been there with people who couldn't read and write chinese, so when they handed us the menu, we just looked at each other and started to laugh (and worry). i ended up having to literally draw a picture of a chicken and go to the counter and play the most epic game of charades yet. we didn't even end up with any food: we got a bowl of really bizarre beef noodles, about 234823098 glasses of iced coffee, and some really strange rice-y things that i'm still not sure what it was. so, this is one of the hilarious things about living in a country where you struggle with the language.........anyway, we spent the weekend shopping and looking for all things jay chou (we were quite unsuccessful) and practicing the song and dance to "sorry sorry sorry" in my apartment. good times were had :)

last wknd, i went to taipei to visit with my friend jayson and his friend tina. we went to danshui (which is this undescribable place in taipei that is sooooooooo~ cool) and then to MACARONI GRILL. yes, there is a macaroni grill in taipei. granted it costs about 3 times as much as in greensboro but who cares? it was so nice to hold a fork and be able to 100% identify what i was eating and oh, it was worth every penny. but it was so surreal- almost everyone in there was western, and they were all speaking english, and even the waitress asked me in english what did i want! the menu was english...for those couple hours i was there, i really felt like i had stepped back into america. it was SO BIZARRE. i can't even describe how strange it felt. it was borderline really creepy, actually. the waitress asked me all the usual questions: do you live here, how long, what do you do, do you speak chinese...and i realised that my answer of "yes i live here" doesn't sound as strange as it used to and that the "do you speak chinese question" can now be answered in chinese with "yes, but not very well" instead of with tears. hmm.

lately, i have been dreaming the strangest things. i dreamed that benjamin franklin was the drummer in a band with fred mertz. i woke up and i was really freaked out by my subconsious.

TAIWAN WEATHER REPORT: fantastically debilitating winds, and...dare i even say it...almost cold.

ps i have lived in taiwan for 4 months. WHERE IS THE TIME GOINGGGGGGG AND WHY IS IT GOING SO FAST.

wow, this post is really random and follows no trajectory at all. sorry ^^

i wish i could go back to college

i wish i could go back to college
life was so simple back then
what would i give
to go back and live
in a dorm with a meal plan again
i wish i could go back to college
in college you know who you are
you sit in the quad
and think "oh my God, i am totally gonna go far"
how do i go back to college?
i don't know who i am anymore!
i wanna go back to my room
and find a message in dry erase pen on the door
oh i wish i could just drop a class
or get into a play
or change my major, or date the t.a.
i need an academic advisor to point the way!
oh we could be
sitting in the computer lab
4am before the final paper is due
cursing the world cause we didn't start sooner
but seeing the rest of the class there too
oh i wish i could go back to college!
how do i go back to college?
oh i wish i had taken more pictures
but!
if i were to go back to college
think what a loser i'd be...
i'd walk through the quad
and think "oh my God! these kids are so much younger than me."

thank you, avenue q, for my life's theme song.
i really do wish i could go back to college and live there forever.

i am often thankful that i have any friends at all because i know that i'm crazy and have been known to pick up and move to asia without much notice. however, i am especially thankful that i have true friends who are going through the same thing that i am, though all in spanish instead of chinese and with gunshot cats instead of chopsticks.

in one of my weekly hours-long skype sessions with my best friend veronica (who lives in mexico), we are sharing the stories of the insane things that happen to us while being in another country, and discussing what our next adventures will be. its so nice to be able to talk about the feeling of randomly wanting to eat at stameys or not being able to think of a vocabulary word in english or pronouncing an english word in the accent of the country we are living or how we (thankfully) have the mindset that our 20s are the time we should be seeing the world and actually doing things instead of getting married and popping out babies. its really nice to have someone who can understand what you mean when you say, "man, i love eating with chopsticks, but sometimes i want a fork more than anything." or "only 8 more months until we can go wreak havoc on greensboro again!" sometimes i feel like no one understands. and until you have literally packed yourself up and popped into another country, the depth and multitude of feelings can't be properly understood. they are strange, hilarious, horrible, and wonderful.

GUNS'N'ROSES WILL BE IN TAIPEI ON 2009.12.11 AND SO WILL I, SCREAMING, IN THE FRONT ROW.

one more reason december is the month of dreams.

december...the month of dreams

I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8th= rika and tadao are COMING TO TAIWAN! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) infinite happiness
22-28= katie goes to saigon to see auuuuuuuu! yay!
various times= many taiwanese friends of mine coming back to the motherland
31= new years! always fun times.

december= month of dreams.

also, it marks the halfway point of year 1: taiwan. how do i feel about this? i'm not sure.

lately, i enjoy listening to turkish music and drinking banana juice.

also, maybe i'm going to go a tiny bit blonde. i haven't seen blonde hair in 3 months.

abbey road.

today i was looking at my most beloved abbey road poster and had a rather poetic revelation.

this poster has hung on my wall in three countries, been crammed in suitcase after suitcase and hauled to and from home, watched many friends come in and out of the rooms it has hung in, and watched many good times be had.

i often wonder where it will be this time next year?

thank you john, ringo, george, and especially paul for accompanying me on all my crazy journeys throughout life. i hope there are many more.

even though i haven't done one single bloody thing this wknd that involved productivity, it has been one of the best weekends i've had since i've been in taiwan...maybe ever.

i have a very unique situation with my friends. i have lived in three countries, and i spent the better part of university living in the dorm with all the exchange students. its safe for me to say that my friends are literally scattered all over the 4 corners of the earth, and i can probably never again in my life be in the same place with all of them at the same time. while this thought makes me very sad, it also makes me very happy, because i know that no matter where in the world i go or ever end up permanently, be it taiwan or england or america or most anywhere else, i will never be alone.

most of the people i am friends with are very different from me. they grew up speaking different languages, celebrating different holidays, eating different foods, and worshipping different things. i think this is the most beautiful thing about my life. and even though they are literally all scattered from here to kingdom come, i am so thankful and lucky that even when its 3a, thanks to the wonders of time zones, someone will be up to listen to me complain about having to use chopsticks all the time or to reminisce about terrorising all the citizens of new york city on the thanksgiving trip, look at engrish.com, or even just to tell me that they love me. i am so lucky to have been blessed with so many amazing friends who, even across all the millions of miles between us, are still my friends.

i spent most of the weekend in skype chatting to old friends, some of whom it had been ages since i had last spoken with. even though i know that makes me the laziest person ever, i can't even describe how happy it made me to talk to all them! though it makes me miss them and makes me wish i was still in university and could haul off at 4am to steak and shake with them, or run around the i-house screaming, or go to artistika and dance until early the next morning, it's worth those feelings.

in short, i often feel that i am the luckiest person alive to know so many different people and to call them all my friends.

sometimes, i really just wish i had a fork.

i love cranberry juice and hate skeptics.

i have been living in taiwan for over 14 weeks, and my life has changed so much in that short time.

my entire life is changed forever! i began my career as an english teacher here in taiwan, and that will be with me forever. every single day i find it harder and harder to convince myself that i will have to leave after one year. and every single day i find it harder and harder to remind myself that i am not taiwanese and that i haven't been here forever, though some things are beginning to feel so natural that its getting hard to remember what my life was like pre-taiwan.

i was talking to a co-worker tonight about what its like to be an expatriate in general, especially in a place where you can't speak the language well (um, or at all...) sometimes i feel like i am not a part of america. i don't live there, don't keep up with the news as well as i should, and don't keep up with the pop culture by choice. i feel so isolated from the culture. i only have 2 american friends here in taiwan. i think i can even count the number of american friends i have on one hand anyway (ok, slight exaggeration but you get the picture). its also hard to feel fully a part of the taiwanese culture though. even though i watch the news and the tv shows and listen to the music and try to speak the language and am constantly surrounded by and interacting with taiwanese people...at the end of the day, i can't fully participate in or understand the culture fully because of the language barrier. i am trying harder than i have ever tried anything, and hopefully soon my brain will be able to absorb all things taiwanese. immediately and with no effort ^^

also, i can't help but still be kind of bitter at the people who thought that i could never handle this. i am well aware that what i did in coming to taiwan was nuts, probably not as well planned or thought out as it should have been, and risky. i also knew that i was smart enough and strong enough to handle it, thankyouverymuch. i am doing perfectly fine here...in fact, i am doing well! yes, i know how to use chopsticks, i know how to navigate the subway, i can buy my own train ticket and end up at my destination unharmed, and for heaven's sake, no i don't need you to order my dinner for me because i am perfectly capable of functioning as a human being BY MYSELF! just because i'm in a foreign country doesn't mean i'm stupid! just because my chinese is bad doesn't mean that i'm stupid! bahhhh. anyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyway.

i love cranberry juice. thank you, taiwan, for introducing me to the wonders.

opposites, halloween, and pencil cases

so today at work i'm teaching opposites. the lesson is going fine: day/night, skinny/fat, girl/boy...everyone seems to be catching on. so before i move on to the next concept, just to make sure everyone understands, i ask for questions. 'yes teecha! me! i have!' 'ok xxxxx, what is your question?' 'teeeeeeeeeeecha, what's the opposite of octopus?' >.< i had no idea how to answer that question, needless to say. a few minutes later, i looked over at this same student and he was holding his pencil case to his ear pretending that it was a phone. no one had prompted him to do it, he was sitting in the corner by himself, and i think i was the only one who saw him. i was confused because no one had even said anything about phones? i was still trying to settle the earlier octopus dispute. he was talking in chinese a mile a minute, hand gestures and all. i was laughing so hard that i spilled water all over the place.

i love love my job, i couldn't imagine doing anything else right now...but there is one tiny thing that seriously makes me want to quit right now and go drown myself in the taiwan strait: this is the metal pencil case. pencil cases are a huge deal in taiwan; no self-respecting elementary school student would be caught dead without one. however, there is one particulary sinister breed of the pencil case: the metal one, affectionately known to me as death metal. these things get all rusty and disgusting, the kids have been known to use them as weapons, and the noise they make when they hit the ground from the height of the desk is like nails down a chalkboard to me. for some reason, my classroom is really echo-y to begin with, but when that metal case full of pencils hits the ground at breakneck speeds, i swear it takes a few minutes off my life. in order to remedy this problem and prevent myself from having a stroke, i made a new rule today and in true elementary school teacher fashion, marched myself right upstairs, pulled out the crayons, and drew the rule on paper to hang up in my classroom: PENCIL CASES ON THE FLOOR! tomorrow is the first day implementing the rule; let's hope tomorrow night is the first night i don't have nightmares about classrooms-full of taiwanese children throwing their pencil cases to the floor.

today i had my level one class sitting on the floor in a circle reading a book (with 7 pages...) called 'the haircut.' (so different than last year when i was teaching ancient greek literature, victorian plays and novels with pages that measured in the hundreds...) we were all sitting and reading, and it was going well. i turn to ask a student (let's call him L) a question about the reading. katie: 'L, does kipper want to get a haircut?' L: 'its 4:00!' katie: >.< again, i was speechless. i really had to idea how to reply, so i just went for my old standby: uproarious laughter.

since october is the month of halloween, things have been nuts at work to get the school decorated. we have cut out about 2034803248 pumpkins, ghosts and witches to hang everywhere and our school has enough decorations to rival any place in america, and here we are in the middle of taiwan. as soon as i can get my act together and remember to take some photos of it, i will post them. its so cute...complete with our smashed witch on the front window!!! ^^

ps 新竹 has a reputation for being windy, but i am sure that 竹北市 is the windiest place on earth. but the weather has gotten nice otherwise. i actually kind of want to go outside sometimes. who'd have ever thought that i could go outside in taiwan and not melt.

i just wanted to make a small (huge) announcement:

someone in 7-11 just had to ASK me, in chinese, if i was a foreigner. successsssssssssss.

i hate playing catch-up

i have turned into a slack-blogger lately, so here is a futile attempt to catch everyone (mostly myself) up...

let's see...last wknd was moon festival. i'm not sure what the occasion is other than that the moon is at its brightest during the festival, and we got a day off work. :) friday night, i went to a traditional barbeque with some taiwanese friends. it was very interesting! it was in an old salon, and you could also go into the street from where we were. we stayed outside all night, barbequing squid and pig blood (i swear) and looking at the moon, playing taiwanese party games. it was a brilliant night, and i saw the first sunrise i've seen since coming to taiwan. (it was beautiful, i might add). after watching spongebob (or hy-me-in-bao-bao in chinese) in chinese, i headed home, slept for a half hour, and then caught the early train for keelung!

i met mary and kristen at the station. we met this hilarious taiwanese lady who kept asking us where we were from, and telling us that she had a son in la who was going to be married next month. (she also said that she was taiwanese...she said that people can't be happy in a marraige unless the person comes from the same culture as they do and can understand the way they think and their philosophy about life--i've been wondering all week if that is actually true and hoping that it isn't.) anyway, she took us on a little trip to find a hotel to stay in. 'we are EXPLORERRRRRR!' she shouted and was practically running through the streets while we were struggling to keep up. most hilarious person i've met in taiwan thus far. anyway, we spent the day hiking up 203482034823049820348 stairs, but it was so worth it! we saw so many cool things, and luckily, the typhoon was kind and let us have at least one torrential-downpour-free day in keelung. not so on sunday. we ended up having to go back to taipei to the cinema (saw 'the proposal -just now out in tw. was amazing! i loved it, and i really hate chick flicks.) we ate some interesting japanese food for dinner, and then headed home! great weekend! i love taiwan weekends.

so then, the typhoon came. along with it came fall! it is FINALLY a liveable temperature here (which means that all the locals are pretty much wearing parkas because its 'cold'.) i can walk outside and breathe, and not sweat through my clothes on the way to work, and the night isn't so humid that i feel like suffocating. it is, at times (dare i say it)...cool. i hope it lasts.......

meanwhile, i have the best job ever. i am constantly entertained by those kids! they are so funny! yesterday, one of them called me over to his desk to show me a picture he had drawn. it was me and the caption was 'katie is pitty.' i laughed and corrected the spelling to 'pretty.' then he shouted, 'you have BIG GREEN EYYYYYYYYYYES!' and i was laughing so hard that i almost had to leave the classroom. sometimes, i even find myself just so happy! a kid will ask another kid 'can i borrow your eraser' in english, and i will get so proud that i nearly explode. or i will have a class full of 9 8-year olds chanting 'the ball is ABOVE the box' and its just the cutest thing. today, they were all about to knock me down to show me their 100s on their spelling tests. you can't can't can't can't beat that feeling. there's nothing better! even though i hear 'katie teacher, I'M FINISHEDDDDDDDDDD!!!!" in my sleep and hear those stupid metal pencil cases crashing to the ground in my nightmares, i truly love love love this job. can't imagine doing anything else.

its funny too, because i guess some people thought that i was coming here just for a trip or something, and always ask 'so when are you coming home?' i really have no idea the answer to that question. someday, i guess, but its so funny that i now find myself comfortable in taiwan. i can quasi-function in chinese, i am learning about the culture, i even find myself taking off my shoes when i go in a room...whoa. the thought of going home isn't as exciting as it used to be. i prefer taiwan's mtv to america's, i order octopus on purpose in restuarants, i can use chopsticks as well as a fork now, i am used to the heat, etc etc.

tomorrow is a loooooooooooooooooong day...but I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND! :) yayayaya.

jack london's 'credo'

I would rather be ashes than dust!
I would rather that my spark should burn out
in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot.
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom
of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.
The function of man is to live, not to exist.
I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them.
I shall use my time.

i have turned into an elementary school teacher...

as someone who always considered herself terrified of large groups of small children, and who has a college degree in secondary education, i can't help but laugh at something that i found myself doing today.

one of my classes was getting a bit out of hand, so i decided to implement some sort of discipline system. when i taught high school, this system was usually 'sit down and stop talking NOW or i'll throw you out' the first time, and actually throwing them out the second time. that will not wash with taiwanese 8-yr olds. i was wracking my brain thinking of some way to handle little kids...the only thing i could think of was my own elementary school teachers: and the pulling cards system.

i couldn't help but laugh at myself today sitting in my office colouring everyone's names on their pockets in brightly coloured crayons, making sure they looked like something an elementary school teacher would be proud of. i cut out their cards (green, yellow, and red...like a stop light) and will finish it tomorrow and see how it works. those little buggers are cute as they can be, and they make my day, but they are also still only 8...and thus unstoppable sometimes!

the witch of portobello

i often feel as though my life is a constant battle. battle of what, you ask? well, that's a good question my friend. a very good question.

i often find myself in a constant cycle: this centrifuge has slowly become the trajectory of my life, and i am not sure if it is normal? i'm sure it has alot to do with the nature of my life right now: getting used to being in a new culture, speaking a new language, eating new food, just basically living life in a different way. in the course of 5 minutes, i can often find myself hating taiwan so much and looking for the next ticket home, and then 5 SECONDS LATER planning out the rest of my life in taiwan because i love it so much that i'm never leaving.

anyway i just finished yet another brilliant novel by paulo coelho, the witch of portobello. didn't like it as much as the alchemist, but it was the only one in the bookstore in english =) and it wasn't too bad. there was a passage that i really liked that i actually thought summed me up quite well. here it is...

'don't move,' said the man. 'look at what is there before your eyes.'

a line of ants.

'they all think they're very wise. they have memory, intelligence, organizational powers, a spirit of sacrifice. they look for food in summer, store it away in winter, and now they are setting forth again, in this icy spring, to work. if the world was destroyed by an atomic bomb tomorrow, the ants would survive.'

'how do you know all this?'

'i studied biology.'

'why don't you work to improve the living conditions of your own people? what are you doing in the middle of the forest, talking to trees?'

'in the first place, i wasn't alone; apart from the trees, you were listening to me too. but to answer your question, i left biology to work as a blacksmith.'

i struggled to my feet. my head was still spinning, but i was thinking clearly enough to understand the poor man's situation. despite a university education, he had been unable to find work. i told him that the same thing happened in my country too.

'no, that's not what i meant. i left biology because i wanted to work as a blacksmith. even as a child, i was fascinated by those men hammering steel, making a strange kind of music, sending out sparks all around, plunging the red-hot metal into water, and creating clouds of steam. i was unhappy as a biologist, because my dream was to make rigid metal take on soft shapes. then, one day, a protector appeared.'

'a protector?'

'let's say that, on seeing those ants doing exactly what they're programmed to do, you were to exclaim 'how fantastic!' the guards are genetically prepared to sacrifice themselves for the queen, the workers carry leaves ten times their own weight, the engineers make tunnels that can resist storms and floods. they enter into mortal combat with their enemies, they suffer for the community, and they never ask: 'why are we doing this?' people try to imitate the perfect society of ants, and as a biologist, i was playing my part until someone came along with this question: 'are you happy doing what you're doing?' 'of course i am,' i said. 'i'm being useful to my own people.' 'and that's enough?'

'i didn't know whether it was enough for me or not, but i said that he seemed to be both arrogant and egotistical. he replied: 'possibly, but all you will achieve is to repeat what has been done since man was man--keeping things organized.'

'but the world has progressed,' i said. he asked if i knew any history. of course i did. he asked another question: 'thousands of years ago, weren't we capable of building enormous structures like the pyramids? weren't we capable of worshipping gods, weaving, making fire, finding lovers and wives, sending written messages? of course we were. but although we've succeeded at replacing slaves with wage slaves, all the advances we've made have been in the field of science. human beings are still asking the same questions as their ancestors. in short, they haven't evolved at all.' at that point, i realized that the person asking me these questions was someone sent from heaven, an angel, a protector.'

'why do you call him a protector?'

'because he told me that there are two traditions, one that makes us repeat the same thing for centuries at a time, and another that makes us open the door into the unknown. however, the second tradition is difficult, uncomfortable and dangerous, and if it attracted too many followers, it would end up destroying the society which, following the example of the ants, took so long to build. and so the second tradition went underground and has only managed to survive over so many centuries because its followers created a secret language of signs.'

'did you ask more questions?'

'of course i did, because, although i'd denied it, he knew i was dissatisfied with what i was doing. my protector said: 'i'm afraid of taking steps that are not on the map, but by taking those steps despite my fears, i have a much more interesting life.' i asked more about the tradition, and he said something like, 'as long as god is merely man, we'll always have enough food to eat and somewhere to live. when the mother finally regains her freedom, we might have to sleep rough and live on love, or we might have to balance emotion and work.' my protector then asked: 'if you weren't a biologist, what would you be?' i said: 'a blacksmith, but they don't make enough money.' and he replied, 'well, when you're tired of being what you're not, go and have fun and celebrate life, hammering metal into shape. in time, you'll discover that it will give you more than pleasure, it will give you meaning.' 'how do i follow this tradition you spoke of ?' i asked. 'as i said, through symbols,' he replied. 'start doing what you want to do, and everything will be revealed to you...i did that and i survived. i discovered that there were other people who did the same but who are considered to be mad, irresponsible, superstitious. since time immortal, they've sought their inspiration in nature. we build pyramids, but we also develop symbols.'

'having said that, he left, and i never saw him again. i only know that from that moment on, symbols did begin to appear because my eyes had been opened by that conversation. hard though it was, one evening i told my family that, although i had everything a man could dream of having, i was unhappy, and that i had, in fact, been born to be a blacksmith. my wife protested, saying: 'you were born a gypsy and had to face endless humiliations to get where you are, and yet you want to go back?' my son, however, was thrilled, because he too liked to watch the blacksmiths in our village and hated the laboratories in the big cities.

'i started dividing my time between biological research and working as a blacksmith's apprentice. i was always tired, but i was much happier one day i left my job and set up my own blacksmith's business, which went completely wrong from the start. just when i was starting to believe in life, things got markedly worse. one day i was working away and i saw that there was before me a symbol.

'the unworked steel arrives in my workshop and i have to transform it into parts for cars, agricultural machinery, kitchen utensils. do you know how that's done? first, i heat the metal until its red-hot, then i beat it mercilessly with my heaviest hammer until the metal takes on the form i need. then i plunge it into a bucket of cold water and the whole workshop is filled with the roar of steam while the metal sizzles and crackles in response to the sudden change in temperature. i have to keep repeating that process until the object i'm making is perfect: once is not enough.

the blacksmith paused for a long time, lit a cigarette, and then went on.

'sometimes the steel i get simply can't withstand such treatment. the heat, the hammer blows, the cold water, cause it to crack. and i know that i'll never be able to make it into a good plow share or engine shaft. then i throw it onto the pile of scrap metal at the entrance to my forge.'

another long pause, then the blacksmith concluded: 'i know that god is putting me through the fire of afflictions. i've accepted the blows that life has dealt me, and sometimes i feel as cold and indifferent as the water that inflicts such pain on the steel. but my one prayer is this: please god...don't give up until i've taken on the shape that you wish for me. do this by whatever means you think best, and for as long as you like, but never ever throw me on the scrap heap of souls.'

coehlo, paulo. the witch of portobello. new york: harper collins. 2006. 215-220.

so many things to blog about now...hm...

#1 the weekend! on saturday, i went to yangmingshan with my work! its just outside of taipei, and i think its a volcano...though really i have no idea what it is :) all i know is that it was GORGEOUS! the moutains in taiwan are the most beautiful i have ever seen outside of my beloved blue ridge. i even think the taiwan mountains put the alps to shame. we were in the national park, which i think is the most beautiful place i've seen since i've been in taiwan, and ally said 'when i'm here i often think that this is what heaven might look like.' i hope shes right :)

sunday, my friend orange from hong kong arrived for a visit! we went to hsinchu city for the day. actually when we got there, there were so many protests going on about china (1 oct is the anniversiary of the estab. of the proc). actually i thought it was parades because there were marching bands and stuff, but i quickly learned that i was wrong haha. while we were in the city, we stopped in a hotel for directions to the place we were heading. after he gave us the directions, he looked at me and said in heavily accented english: "welcome to taiwan!" i laughed a little and said to him in heavily accented chinese: "thanks, but i live here." he just stared at me...and i wasn't sure what to think! i'm not a tourist! then, we headed to the jhubei city night market...I LOVE IT! i ate tooooooooo much food, but i love that night market so much. might be my favourite in all of taiwan! even when i ordered something, the lady behind the stand told me that i spoke very good mandarin for a mei guo ren. hahaha. ;)

today when i walked into class, many of my students handed me cards and little cakes...its teacher's day in taiwan! they were so cuuuuuuute. bless their precious little taiwanese hearts. one of them even gave us all mooncakes from gaoxiong! 28sept is confucious' birthday, so that's why today is teacher's day. it was a quite nice day!



**i really wish it would feel like fall here! its still as blazing hot as it was when i arrived in july! ahhhh! i also really miss the beacon. i randomly started to wish i could go there and eat until i puked...what i wouldn't give for some good old fashioned terribly unhealthy fried in grease and full of cholesterol southern food with NO EYEBALLS

生日快樂 finally, a real one

i realised today that i haven't really devoted much of this section of my cyberspace to talking about my job and what i actually do with my life in taiwan, so i will do that now, in account of today was an especially good day =)

i have one student who announces that its his happy birthday every single day when i come in class, then proceeds to ask every single child in the class if it is their happy birthday, and then finally after we have established that it is in fact no one's happy birthday, we begin class. you can imagine his excitement when he was able to announce that today was someone's birthday. ally went to the 85 degrees cafe and bought him a little cake at my request. i saved the last 15 minutes of class for a little party! we all crowded around him (and boyyyyyyyyy was he shocked!) and sang happy birthday (finally legitimately!) in english. it was so much fun...tammy took lots of photos of us with his cake and his little '7' candle...hope to have them up soon =)

its so different teaching small children now. i get to shop for cute little things like stamps and stickers, and i spent an hour today colouring flashcards for the weather and the days of the week. of course i spent 4 years in uni learning how to corrall teenagers and keep them out of prison; i am totally still learning the ropes of how to deal with 8 year olds (dont even start me on how to deal with the kindy! i still dont know...) but, its actually quite fun. i could never teach proper elementary school in america with american children, but i have to say that i do love teaching esl to taiwanese babies! and, i like the fact that i also have advanced classes where i get to teach lots of nerdy grammar (spent a whole lesson tonight on the past perfect tense....:) and also adult classes too.

old life = getting ready to out for a long night of salsa dancing at 10p on friday night
new life = just getting off work and getting ready to sleep at 10p on friday night because i have to be up early on saturday to work

denken auf deutsch

sorry...what i have to say can't be said in english


manchmal wünsche ich, dass ich über mein leben sicher sein könnte. warum bezweifele ich mich immer? eine minut mag ich taiwan, die folgende minute, die ich nach hause gehen möchte. ich wundere mich, wenn meine gefühle wird überhaupt reguliert…ich hasse das gefühl von vergessen werden. ich hasse in den gedächtnissen und in der zukunft leben. ich hasse mich wundern, wenn ich überhaupt die leute und die plätze finde, die ich werde bedeutet für…ich wundere mich, wo ich meine fehler machte. ich wundere mich, WENN ich einen fehler machte. es ist so schwierig, glückliches jeder zu sehen so und sich dann zu sehen. bin ich glücklich? ich weiss nicht: ich bin nicht traurig. aber es gibt etwas, das jetzt von mir verfehlt. ich wundere mich, wenn solch ein platz für mich existiert. ich wundere mich, wenn es irgendeinen platz oder irgendeine person gibt, dass ich WIRKLICH für BEDEUTET wurde. ich wundere mich… ich mich wundere häufig. der teil von mir wünscht das leben, das einfach ist: aber der teil von mir wünscht das abenteuer. wie man die hälften versöhnt? wo kann ich den platz finden, den ich gehöre? existiert es?!

möglicherweise beschreibt dieses das gefühl---- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUFgRqxDNd4

ode to jay chou

there are many things that i have come to appreicate since coming to taiwan, such as the english language (ahhhh), the chinese language (actually i've come to think it sounds really beautiful), chou tofu (it doesn't taste as bad as it smells), bamboo in all forms (mmmmm), getting from place to place using my own two feet, international mail, TEEEEEEEEEEEA, and...jay chou.

i first discovered jay chou in the airport in taoyuan. AT THAT VERY MOMENT i fell in love. he is a really really (really!!!) famous taiwanese jack-of-all-genres-of-entertainment. he is famous in all asia, but especially in taiwan, because he is from here. i think he is especially worshipped by a select part of the american expatriate population--namely myself.

watch these: the last one is my favourite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9PFQSVZdzM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap_1HElPC9A

我愛你 jay chouuuuuuuuuu

expatriatism: a teleological anaylsis (and some stuff about wulai too)

what an amazing weekend. i am getting very very very tempted even more everyday never to leave taiwan. seriously.

i was meeting some friends in xindian (in taipei) at noon which meant that i had to be out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to get there on time. if you know me well enough, you know that i have never been out of bed on time in my life. same for today. i had every intention of being up and out the door by 830...not so much (actually i dont know why i even needed to be up so early anyway...im only a half hour from taipei! haha)

i got to the train station at exactly 10:00a and bought my ticket to taipei...the train left at 10:01. i had to literally RUN across the platform and leap into the train, but i got on and somehow got to taipei on time. met kristen and mary in xindian and got on the bus to wulai (you can read about wulai here: http://wikitravel.org/en/Wulai)!

a poetic digression:

while i was waiting for the girls in xindian station, an american came up to me and started chatting. we were just shooting the breeze about this and that, and eventually she asked: 'so are you an expat too?' i had no idea how to answer that question. am i an expatriate? in the most technical sense of the word, yes. i left my mother country and now i live and work in a country that is foreign to me. i love both places, in completely different ways of course and for completely different ways... but am i an expatriate? im not really sure, to be honest. i love love love taiwan and if you ask me today, i will tell you that i am never going to leave. but what about america? hm, im not sure. i love it to and maybe i do eventually want to go back someday. i got my a.r.c. (alien resident certificate...basically my taiwanese green card) thursday...which means that i am taiwnese now! but it is strange to hold that in my hand sometimes. in the end, after i stared at her like an idiot for about 3 minutes after she asked me the question, i finally said: 'yes.' suprised at how that word felt coming out of my mouth, i quickly amended my statement: 'and no.'

anywayyyyyyyyyy, we got off the bus (after a 40 minute bus ride that did a number on both my motion sickness and my nerves), we hiked!!! all the way up to the top of the mountain to see the 'big' waterfall (which ended up being kind of small...but still totally worth it!) it was totally gorgeous. the mountains were so tall, and everything was so green...the weather was perfect. such a great day! anyway, on our little hike, we saw about 1032820938 of the hugest and most fantastically disgusting spiders ive ever seen in my life, took a ton of photos, browsed through all the shops filled with aboriginal things (bought the CUTEST bag for only 100nt!!!!!!), and climbed about 23840283 steps.

then, we met up with kristen's friends danny and flea. after looking everywhere for a parking spot, we ate dinner/supper/lunch/not really any specific meal. it was sooooooooo goooooood. rice cooked in bamboo, chicken and papaya soup (not as nasty as it sounds i swear), pork, and some kind of vegetable, im not sure. i even got complimented on my chopstick skills by true real live asians ;) then we took a looooooooong walk down to the hot springs! IT WAS SO COOOOOOOOL! these natural hot springs are no joke though, mary and danny burned their feet! haha. i, of course slipped in and got myself soaking wet, but the water wasn't bad. we moved over to a rock overlooking the river beside some gorgeous mountains...just sitting there in the perfect weather, perfect view, talking about the trash/ice cream truck. it was good times. good, good times.

while the girls and i were bumming around the shops, we took a pit stop by the bathrooms. a little girl pointed at me and asked me if i was english (i am still in awe of the fact that i had a conversation with this kid in chinese haha). i told her i was american and she literally dropped her jaw and said 'wow' in chinese haha. she asked me my name, and i told her and she started shouting 'katie mei guo ren!' which means 'katie american!' haha. when kristen and mary and i were leaving together, she pointed at us and shouted 'SAN MEI GUO REN!' which means 'THREE AMERICANS!' we died laughing and kept on our way.

after the hotsprings, we went back to taipei and went to this crazy little ice cream store. i ordered half strawberry/mango thinking it would be small...it was the hugest thing of ice cream ive ever seen but it was SOOOO GOOD. we all sat around chatting about how hilarious it is to teach english in taiwan...and how much we love it! :) i felt like such an adult, hanging out and talking about my CAREER. as far as the teaching goes, i survived my first parent's day and observation and things are going well. i love my job. i love taiwan. i love this life.

with the cheif at the restaurant :) haha

waterfalls!

america, england, and taiwan

生日快樂 daddy! happy birthday!

so i'm going to pay homage to veronica's stoic and effecient way of blogging and make a list. i have been in taiwan for 10 weeks, and i have to say that every second of those ten weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster. moving abroad to work is night and day compared to going abroad to study, where you are guaranteed almost instant friends and at least someone who is a native speaker of your language (or in my case, someone who grew up 5 minutes down the road from you...haha). there were times at first when i would look on expedia for the cheapest ticket home; there are times now when all i do is worry that the next ten months won't be enough time. at first, i found myself missing home so much...i often miss my family, but i rarely IF EVER miss shelby. but in the beginning of being in taiwan, i wanted to go back to shelby so bad. when i got homesick before in england, it was always for greensboro, and when i got homesick in greensboro, it was for england. it was freaking me out that i was homesick for shelby. usually, my homesickness consisted of dreaming of nando's, boots, primark, big ben, taking a train, walking through england and looking how beautiful it is, hearing british accents, blah blah. (don't get me wrong...i will feel homesickness for england until i'm back there for good!) anyway...now for that list...


the top 10 things i miss about america
1. my family. even though they are all certifiably insane, i really do miss them.
2. taking trips with my friends to places including but not limited to dc, nyc, the mountains, the beach, etc and terrorising all the citizens that we can get our hands on.
3. english books being everywhere. you know im going to take this a step further and go ahead and say barnes and noble (i agree with v-music, books (ALL IN ENGLISH!) and coffee all in one place? best idea everrrrr). and old navy. ok i miss the friendly center.
4. and also like v, wreaking havoc in greensboro with my friends. of course.
5. target. although taiwan is literally busting at the seams with cool stuff to buy, there will never be anything to compare with target. i miss the smell of popcorn when you walk in, all the red decorations, the thingssssssssss they sell...
6. ah yes, i miss north carolina in the fall MORE THAN ANYTHING. the leaves, the smells, the weather, football games, the holidays...oh my gosh, i misssssssssss it. fall has always been my favourite season...and taiwan doesn't have fall, haha.
7. uncg and the ihouse...really greensboro itself. enough said.
8. a few random restuarants. i love taiwanese food, don't get me wrong, but there's only so much food with eyes on it that a girl can take.
9. being able to buy shoes in my size. my feet arent really that big, maybe 9.5 at the biggest, but in taiwan everyone's feet are so bloody small that i doubt they go over size 7 (and even thats considered HUGE).
10. SALSA DANCING.
some things about america that i don't miss, you ask?
1. my car. don't miss driving, don't miss paying for gas, don't miss looking for parking.
2. stupid girls. i don't miss seeing girls with $5000 pocketbooks talking in really obnoxious voices about the latest epsiode of whatever stupid tv show they are watching or the next album thats coming out. i donttttttttttt miss american pop culture at all.
3. the vma's. yes, i heard what happened, yes i watched it on youtube, but i feel so disconnected from american culture now...i didnt know who half those people were and i didn't know any of the songs.
4. the celebrity obsession. i hate how america seems to worship them and they are somehow some sort of superhuman being. i like being able to stand in a checkout line now and not have to read about every single person who has ever been in a movie ever and what they ate for lunch today and why thats bad or how its going to save the world.

top ten things i miss about england

1. the weather. i know i know, thats strange, but i love the weather there! i love bundling up in a coat and scarf and wellies to go outside.
2. NANDOS. holy crap, i would give anything to go eat at nandos...............best restaruarnt ever
3. british accents, of course =)
4. english chocolate! i have to say that the chocolate in taiwan sucks.
5. being in europe...theres just something about being in europe that i love. the weather, the buildings, the pace of life. i miss it soooooooo much.
6. ok im going to state the obvious: everyone around me speaks english, no matter how bizarre it sounds and no matter how much at times i can't understand it....its still english.
7. my friendsssssssssssssssssssssss.
8. primark, boots, the body shop, m&s, weatherspoons, union square...that list could go on forever...
9. public transportation. does it exist in taiwan outside of taipei?
10. the culture. i really love england so much. i miss it.

top ten things i love about taiwan
1. the engrish. its everywhere and its 10x funnier in real life.
2. the teeeeeeeeeeea. i love tea shops! i love tea!
3. the people. they really are some of the nicest in the world, and to boot, they are hilarious without meaning to be.
4. i love how colourful everything is in taiwan. everything from the temples, to the lights at night, to the red stains of betelnut spit everywhere, taiwan is a very colourful place, which makes me very happy :)
5. fooood. even though some taiwanese food still really scares me, there is some that i could eat by the truckload, but since i am really bad at trying to romanise chinese words, i wont =)
6. the shopping. oooooooooooh my gosh, the shopping here is the best in the world!!!!!!!!
7. the dogs and scooters everywhere. sometimes i really feel like i'm in a different world.
8. the layout of cities. i know that sounds really strange, but in america cities are so spread out, and in england, if you can find a proper city (like london) its so huge that its hard to get a real feel for it, you just learn the parts of the city really well. but in taiwan, i feel like cities are more compact and just taller. its really cool.
9. asians. they're everywhere ;) oh and the music! i am obsessed with mtv taiwan!
10. the geography. taiwan is a GORGEOUS country.




so i have one class that is just hilarious, and i swear keeps me in stitches more often than not. everyday when i come in, i am greeted with a VERY LOUD chorus of 'happy birthday to you' in english. and everyday i say, 'its not my birthday.' and then everyday, one certain student says 'its MY happy birthday!' and then another certain one will shout 'its my birthday too!' it always feels like i'm in that episode of i love lucy where they are in italy and all those kids keep telling them that its their birthday. haha. it would have been funny if it had happened once or twice, but every single day we start class the same way, arguing about whose birthday it is and whose it isn't. the same kid who starts off the happy birthday argument has also been known to jump out of his seat at random intervals and start singing 'shake your bon bon' at the top of his lungs. can anyone ask for a better job? :) or at the very least, a more entertaining one? haha, didn't think so.

here is me in taiwan, eating fish head and whole octopus. just another day. (and yes, i really did eat both of them)

miaoli

last night i dreamed of frozen pizza. i miss it.

yesterday i went to miaoli, the county right underneath hsinchu. the drive was only about an hour, but it felt almost like i was in another country! we were definitely not in the city anymore! we went to a township called 南庄鄉. it is an old part of the county situated right in the middle of the mountains. they were soooo beautiful! and the biggest and most beautiful temple i've ever seen was situated right at the top of the hill we climbed. we went inside, and ally explained to me what everything was, from the lions guarding the door (to keep the bad out and the good in) and the huge incense burner and paper money incinerator, to the red lanterns hanging on the powerlines (the people write their prayers and put them inside, hoping that since they are closer to the gods, the gods will be able to see them better).

after looking at the temple and a really super cute elementary school, we headed down to osmanthus alley. this is a really !!!! skinny alleyway with little booths on either side selling this and that, usually things made from the osmanthus flower, which miaoli is famous for. there were so many teas, jams, blah blah made out of it and they were giving out so many samples that i was about to pop by the end of the alley. (there were also about 2039482308 samples of chicken feet and other random things i couldnt identify that everyone kept making me try...) for dinner, we went to a restaurant where i ate lots of little fish with the eyeballs still attached, and of course, octopus. =) i can't wait to go back to miaoli again! its such a cool place... you can see exactly where i was if you look here: http://www.taiwanfun.com/travel/0710/0710Nanzhuang.htm

when we left it was dark. i looked up and saw a sky full of stars! its been so long since id seen any...you certainly cant find them in jhubei city. i just stood there with my head at a 90 degree angle thinking of all the times in my life i'd been under a sky full of stars and never thought twice about it. i also thought about the times i'd spent in the mountains looking at stars with people that i loved. isn't life funny.

a photo tour of jhubei city

today after work, despite the debilitatingly high temperature of 234023840329842038 degrees, i decided to take myself on a little tour of the city with my camera. though i love taking photos, i hate doing it for many reasons: people stare at me enough as it is, the last thing i need to do is pull out my camera like a bloody tourist and start snapping photos of every single thing i see. however, i still want to catch it all on film. im not taiwanese yet ;)

i'm not exactly sure what is this or why its here...but its some jeans thing-y thats...bizarre...no matter where you are...

this is what a typical street looks like. though you cant exactly tell from the photo, you take your life into your own hands everytime you cross. there are scooters EVERYWHERE and cars and neither of them care about pedestrians. its scaryyyyyyyy (but kind of fun ;)

here is another temple i found (if you look closely at the bottom left corner of the top of the temple, you can see a man in a green shirt cleaning it :)

^the inside of the temple

<--dragon on the top of the temple

a

<--this is only a small small small small small fraction of the number of scooters in jhubei city.

today i was telling someone a story, and i heard the words 'when i was in college' come out of my mouth. they felt so strange! although i have to say, it is becoming more and more real to and ok with me lately that i'm no longer a student. yes, i miss that life, i miss those days, i miss those people, but life goes on.

today we were reviewing animals. i held up a picture of a gorilla and asked, 'what is it?' one of my students yelled out 'DA XING XING'! and i just thought of the ihouse and smiled. i didn't almost cry, i didnt almost book a plane ticket home, i didn't feel bad at the memory. i smiled for it, happy that i have all those good memories, and then i carried on with my lesson. is that what moving on feels like? is it supposed to feel like that?

also, i was reading lady chatterly's lover and came across this one:
'we've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.'

**also, today is a very important day for america. i wish i was there today. take a minute and remember.

titled

yay! i think i am out of the darkest part of the culture shock woods...all those of you who have ever hauled it off to another country (not for holidaying!) know the glorious feeling im talking about...waking up and finally realising that you arent as miserable as you thought, and remembering the reasons that you did it in the first place. ladies and gentlemen: IM BACK!

i dont remember the detail i went into about this, so i will retell. its funny enough to tell again anyway. i have a student who refuses to answer to anything except 'michael jackson.' he wont even look at me when i call roll unless i use this name, he wont stop if i tell him to unless he is addressed as michael jackson. i can hardly keep a straight face when i have to say 'michael jackson! sit down and stop shouting!' or 'michael jackson, what is the phonetic value of the letter b'? anyway, i was in my office writing a lesson when he came upstairs to get his books. he couldnt see me looking at him, but out of the corner of my eye, i watched him stand in the room and start singing 'thriller' and dancing. i busted out laughing and got caught watching. he ran away embarrassed.

there is never any shortage of entertainment in taiwan. even a short trip down the road to find food ends up being a fight for your life crossing the street (im honestly never sure if ill make it to the other side alive), discovering a new temple to take photos of, having to play charades in order to actually order the food, then coming home to discover that you've been bitten by every bug on the whole bloody island.

there are things about taiwan that i have grown used to: speaking in chinese very badly, only ever seeing asian people, never hearing english, eating strange food, using chopsticks, being stared at, staring at people blankly when they speak really fast to me, crossing the street under circumstances that i normally wouldn't in america, dreaming in 'chinese,' eating chinese food all the time, seeing hello kitty EVERYWHERE, sweating everywhere i go even in airconditioner, etc etc. however, there are some things about taiwan that still freak me out: seeing a price tag on a coke that says $25 (yes thats taiwan dollars but its still weird), holding $500 bills in my hand, taking $10000 out of an atm, eating octopus, speaking chinese very badly, only ever seeing asian people, never hearing english, eating strange food....etc. i have grown used to going to sleep at night thinking of what i need to do the next day and 7-11 is the first thing that goes through my head. i have grown used to saying 'ni hao' alot. i am getting used to the fact that this place is just HOT. im trying to get used to being illiterate. haha. however, my chinese is coming along quicker than i would have ever in a million years anticipated. wow. when i think to myself what i want for dinner, i no longer run crying to mcdonalds...images of rice and shrimp with eyes still attached and bamboo enter my mind. i think of green tea and tapioca bubble tea (even though the bubbles still freak me out) and soy milk. yes people, soy milk. its amazing. im truly back in my element: all the reasons that i came to taiwan are becoming clear to me again and im so happy here!

i have been here for exactly 9 weeks. WHERE THE DEVIL HAS THE TIME GONE?! i really cant figure out where. thats over 2 months...only 10 left...only 10 more months left to travel all around taiwan and go to japan, vietnam, singapore, china, and hongkong! and hopefully indo and malaysia if i have time....how will i ever do it? ahhh! so little time left!

english wisdom of the day:
(the lyrics to my lastest favourite song by none other than newton faulker):
if this is it, all we have
i know ive done all i can
if this is it a
and we can't stop and start again
we can't fast forward to the end
this is it

deutsche klugheit des tages:
(von meine lieblingsgruppe, glashaus!)
fehlt ein stück - sie soll stehen
und die welt dreht sich weiter
und das sie sich weiter drehtist für mich nicht zu begreifen
merkt ihr nicht das einer fehlt
haltet die welt an ... es fehlt ein stück
haltet die welt an ... sie soll stehen

i also just have to say that though many of my friends are so very far away from me, scattered everywhere from greensboro to estonia to england to japan to mexico and everywhere in between...i am very very thankful for y'all and will never be able to do anything without you, truly. i love you all.