there are so many millions of thoughts and so many different languages swirling through my head at breakneck speeds at any given time on any given day that sometimes, i really wish my brain came with an "off" button.

for example, this week, i got an american magazine in the mail (thanks betty lockridge!!). i opened it and was reading...and started realising that i have no idea about what's going on in america. the fashion looked weird to me, all the ads for new things seemed so strange, and i didn't recognise any of the models. i felt i was reading about a foreign country. of course i can't read taiwanese magazines, and i don't know any of their models either...its so weird not to fully belong to either place. this thought always worries me. and lately, i have been feeling a little bit vagabond-ish. like, i am always going from place to place, and the thought of ever being permanent anywhere really scares me. is always living in a state of "transitory" so bad, and can a person ever really be happy that way? i don't know. i can't stop wondering the answer. i can't stop asking myself the reason for coming to taiwan was to escape something, to leave something behind...or if it was to find something. i was talking to my friend about this, and about how my life can never really feel complete again...i have best friends scattered from here to kingdom come, and i have had life in three countries, as well as in greensboro and shelby. there will always be a part of me that is somewhere else. i will always be missing someone, or some place. my head spins thinking of this. it's spinning now just typing about it. i often wonder what will ever end up happening to me.

last week, i met rika and tadao in taipei! they came allllllllllllll the way from japan! i can't even explain how good it was. i will never ever in my life forget riding the motorcycle with jeremy to their hotel and seeing rika standing on the sidewalk. its such a good feeling to have the kind of friend to whom you can say "i will see you again someday, be it in your country, or my country, or taiwan, or who knows where" and actually mean it. i almost killed myself leaping off the motorcycle to go to her and tadao :) then we stood in the middle of downtown, shouting and screaming and crying for ages while a crowd collected to watch the foreigners reunite. i will never in my life forget that moment. we had such a good time together, talking about old memories, making new ones, and just all being together. i still can't believe it happened and even though it was so short and felt like a dream, it was so nice to see them again.

christmas in kaoshiung in t-8 days! JIA-YOOOO!