加油~加油~加油~

lately, i have been noticing how much i feel like i actually live in taiwan. walking down the street and waving at people i know, being able to give directions in my city, translating for tourists...nothing really feels "foreign" anymore, though that is NOT at all to say that i myself don't feel foreign or that culture clashes don't happen everyday, because they most certainly do. i still sometimes find myself wanting to smash my head into the nearest brick wall a few times because i am used to doing things so differently, or am used to operating under/being held to a massively different set of standards. yes, i still hate being stared at. i hate being pointed at from across the street and hearing "FOREIGNER! LOOK!" i hate being spoken to in english in public, even if i respond in chinese. i know sometimes i paint over life as a foreigner in taiwan with rose colored paint, so to speak, but its definitely not all rainbows and butterflies, even after all this time.

however, i want to take a minute and be proud of myself, if i may. i have friends who cannot speak english, and i think (for myself anyway) its a testament to how hard i have really tried with my chinese (or at the very least, my ability to play charades). i'm so worried about going home and forgetting everything i have worked so long and so hard to learn. blehhhhhhhhh.

taiwan is hot. YAY! SUMMER IS HERE! though i have to confess that i am so jealous of everyone ELSE'S summer break. doesn't exist here. everything is school school school, study study study...but soon, soon, soon i will be done and then i can go rot on a beach for some weeks and not think about ANYTHING...not grammar or little kids or discipline or verb conjugations or exchange rates or paying rent or grading papers or planning lessons or wearing nice clothes everyday or setting an alarm or being an adult or buying a plane ticket/not buying a plane ticket...i can just go enjoy my last few days in taiwan in peace and quiet and sunshine :) actually i doubt there will be any peace and i know there will be no quiet but there will most definitely be sunshine, so 加油!!! al...most...there...